The Harbinger Read online

  Leah rolled her eyes towards the ceiling in a very dramatic way. “Of course, I’m okay. We’ve been out all afternoon… go-karting. It was brilliant! There was a huge track, and when it began to get dark, they put on these big lights. It made it look like day,” she added with a big gasp.

  A shuffle in the hall and the closing of the front door indicated Phil had come into the house.

  “Phil, would you like a coffee before you go?” asked Holly before he entered the room.

  “Yes, I would, thanks. I’ve had two bottles of water while watching our daughter fly around a go-kart track, and I’m still parched.” He walked into the room looking rugged in jeans and a thick knitted jumper. The ruggedness seemed to make him more handsome than he was before, his hair askew and showing signs of weekend stubble. He rubbed his hands together to warm them before he looked up and saw Ellie. “Oh, hi,” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t know Holly had a guest.”

  Although he was being deferential, Ellie could feel her hackles rise. It wasn’t what he said that irritated her. It was the way he said it. She questioned why he was being so polite and respectful. It automatically put her on the back foot, but she would be damned if he was going to get the upper hand.

  “Oh, yes,” Ellie said. “I’ve been here all weekend. We’ve been keeping each other company. It’s been very enjoyable.” She looked him straight in the eye and waited for his reaction. As he sat down at the other end of the settee from Holly, Ellie saw his fists clench. She smiled at him. What he deduced from the smile was up to him. She was merely being polite.

  Holly hugged her daughter tight. “I hope you didn’t go too fast. We don’t want any accidents and more stints off school. That would never do.” She stroked her daughter’s face tenderly and popped a kiss on her forehead.

  “Oh, Mum, don’t be silly. They only go so fast. Even if you want them to go faster, they won’t.” Leah looked a little disappointed.

  Holly laughed loud. “Oh, goodness. Looks as though we’ll have a petrol-head for a daughter when she gets older.” All the adults laughed aloud as Leah looked to all of them, perplexed.

  “Anyway, how would my growing-up daughter like her next cookery lesson? Ellie has offered to show you how to make a vegetable curry for supper. If you want to do it, take your bag upstairs and give your hands a good wash.”

  Leah flew off the couch and ran upstairs, dragging her bag in her wake.

  “I’ll go make sure I have everything I need,” she said, making her excuse. She looked at Phil. “Would you like some for your supper, Phil? You can stay, or I can put some in a container for you to take home. I’m sure Leah would love for you to taste her food. She’s very gifted for her age. A natural.” Ellie kept him engaged, not looking at Holly. She knew she might have overstepped the mark with the invitation. She would make sure she apologised later.

  He opened his mouth, and then promptly closed it again. Then he answered. “Er, yes, thank you. I can’t stay, I’m afraid, because I have plans, but I would like to take some with me. The problem is, I need to go fairly soon. Could I call in for it tomorrow?”

  “Yes,” answered Holly in a flat monotone, “not a problem. I’ll make you a quick coffee so you can be on your way.”

  Both women entered the kitchen together.

  “Damn, blast and bugger it,” said Holly, obviously irked. “He’s in a hurry, so we won’t be able to have a chat after all. I’ll talk to him tomorrow when he calls in.”

  Ellie looked forlorn. “I’m sorry about issuing the invitation for him to stay. I’m not normally that pushy, but I just thought it might put him in a good mood before you asked the question.” She spoke timidly.

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake, don’t worry over stuff like that. If I’d have thought of it, I’d have suggested it too. Good thinking on your part,” she said with a wicked grin. Holly threw some cold milk into the instant coffee she had made and took it through to the lounge. She heard two low voices drift through from the lounge. Holly’s held an irritated edge.

  Leah burst through into the kitchen, coming from the hall rather than the lounge. She’d obviously heard her mum and dad in harsh debate and decided against interrupting. She smiled when she saw Ellie waiting for her.

  “Are you ready to go?” asked Ellie.

  Leah nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes,” she replied. “Let’s start.”

  Ellie noticed she was wearing an apron she’d never seen before. “What’s this then?” she said tugging at the side.

  Leah beamed. “It’s new. My mum bought it for me. She said it was to save my clothes from getting splattered,” she giggled.

  “Very wise… especially with curry. As you know, that’s what we’re going to make for supper. Vegetable curry with boiled rice. A recipe from my days at university when my friends and I were starving but didn’t have much money.” A flash of nostalgia crossed her face. “And your dad will be calling tomorrow, so he can take some home. He must be sure you’re a good cook, or he would be running away.”

  Leah laughed. “He has a date tonight, so he wouldn’t be able to stay. We didn’t know I’d be cooking. It seems aaaages,” she said over-dramatising, again.

  Ellie wanted to roar with laughter but pursed her lips. Once the urge to laugh died away, she said seriously, “I’ll show you how to prepare each one of the vegetables, and then you can do the rest. Sound okay?”

  Leah nodded furiously.

  “Before then, though, I’ll open the wine. I’ll show you how, but once the corks out, you don’t get a second go. Maybe next time, though, if you remember how.” Although she looked a little disappointed, she watched as Ellie pointed to where the tip of the corkscrew had to go into the cork, and how far to turn it, until the wings appeared from the side. To Leah’s delight, she let her push down on the wings until the cork came out and they heard a loud pop. Leah let out a squeal of delight.

  Ellie demonstrated how to peel and chop the carrots, peel, dice, and slice an onion, then prepare the aubergine and peppers. Leah already knew about garlic and courgettes, so Ellie took a seat at the table while she watched Leah fly through the tasks she’d been given. Ellie couldn’t remember cooking at Leah’s age, but she was impressed by her rapid progress. It was wonderful to see a child’s development wherever it may occur. She thought of Alex. He would remain at the age she’d lost him, never to know life’s achievements and pleasures.

  A tear escaped her eye and plopped onto her cheek. She hadn’t noticed Leah put down the knife and come to the table. She only realised when she felt the spindly arms enfold her in a hug and squeezing tightly. Ellie longed for it to go on forever. She felt loved and comforted by this wonderful child.

  “I’m sorry you lost your little boy,” she whispered tenderly. “My mum said awful things happen to nice people, and she’s right—but good things happen too.”

  Ellie felt as though some great weight had lifted from her shoulders by the profound words spoken by a child. The tears dried, and she felt whole for the first time since Alex had died.

  Leah took herself off to bed after a quick shower. Holly had set out her school uniform when they returned in the afternoon, so she only had her books and homework to pack into her rucksack. She thankfully scrambled into bed, reaching for her tablet so she could read a little before going to sleep. Her eyes were already closing, but she had to read at least one page. She didn’t feel right if she didn’t. She felt as though she was missing something.

  The glow from the tablet in the low light made Leah’s eyes want to close even more. She seemed to get tired easily since she had the sore throat, but at least her voice had come back. She was worried until Ellie advised her what to do. She would never have thought how not talking completely would help. Nevertheless, it did. She liked Ellie. Leah liked the way she talked to her—not like a child, and not like with her mum, but something in between. She taught her new things like the cooking and new words when she was talking. Ellie looked at things a different way.
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br />   Leah knew Ellie was often sad when she thought of her little boy. His name was Alex, and he’d died in an accident, but Leah didn’t know how. She might find out one day. She must have been a wonderful mum. Leah felt a teardrop on her cheek, the same as Ellie earlier. For a moment, Leah hated the bad things. All the bad things that happened to everyone. Perhaps Ellie had been having the same thoughts, and they were making her sad, like Leah. She would have to ask her mum what made Ellie really happy, and then they could do that for her and make her not cry as much.

  Leah’s eyes closed.

  Holly slammed the door closed on the dishwasher and looked around the kitchen, making sure there was no mess facing Leah when she came down in the morning. She made Ellie a coffee and poured herself another glass of wine, taking a long swig before Ellie came back from the bathroom. She put down the glass of wine on the table, sat down, and immediately started drumming her fingers on the tabletop. It relieved a small amount of tension, but not much.

  When Ellie entered the kitchen, Holly went to the fridge and took out the cold milk, popped a little in a jug and banged it down a little hard on the table before pouring Ellie’s coffee.

  “Was it something I said?” asked Ellie with a neutral expression.

  “Another weekend spoiled by that bastard,” replied Holly, eyes flashing and short blonde curls sitting haphazardly on her head. The heart-shaped face seemed to become more rounded with fury.

  “Oh, no,” said Ellie. “What’s he done now?” Holly threw what was left of the wine down her throat and reached for the bottle. Before she could pour any, Ellie placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t,” she said protectively. “Just tell me what’s happened. No amount of wine in the world is going to change the situation. Sharing might.”

  “He’s been speaking to our solicitor. Turns out, between them, they have decided not to pursue the case against Leah’s attackers. After he chipped at me day after day, saying I was letting my daughter down if we let them escape unpunished—blah, blah! Now, for whatever reason, he’s changed his mind. He says it’s because Leah seems to have recovered well and looks as though she’ll escape permanent scarring, but I’m not sure it’s his real motive. More like scoring brownie points with his daughter. She didn’t want to do it anyway, nor me for that matter. Typical bloody, Phil!”

  “If that is his reason, he should be ashamed, but you know he won’t be. What do you want to do?” asked Ellie, holding Holly with a stare.

  “I just want my little girl to be happy.” Emotion began to overtake her as she rehashed everything Leah had gone through in the last few months.

  Ellie stood and moved around the table. She enfolded her arms around Holly’s upper body, hoping to assuage the fierce emotions she knew were threatening. As she pulled her close, she was shocked as to how natural the action felt. She breathed in Holly’s natural scent and felt at home. She gently kissed the curls and stroked the back of her head, feeling the curls bounce beneath her fingertips.

  She whispered softly to Holly. “Let it go. It might make asking about the Disney holiday easier in the end. That will make your daughter happy. Just think of that.”

  Holly looked up at her with thankfulness. She felt calm now. When she saw Ellie bend her head, she thought Ellie was going to kiss her. She wanted her to, desperately. Her heart stilled for a moment, making her tummy feel weird. She took a ragged breath… and waited. Ellie placed her hand under her chin and tilted her head. As she came closer, Holly closed her eyes and waited. It was then she felt the slightest touch of Ellie’s lips… on the tip of her nose. The disappointment made her throat constrict into a lump. She swallowed hard as Ellie pulled away.

  “I’m sorry, Holly, but I have to get going. It’s getting really late,” she said apologetically. “I’ve got a busy day planned for tomorrow.” Ellie had sadness in her eyes.

  “What?” asked Holly as though she hadn’t heard what Ellie said. When the rude awakening hit her, she added, “Oh, yes, sorry. I was miles away. Of course, you get off. It’s well after eleven.”

  Ellie nodded, and she heard Holly follow her as she made her way to the door. She put on her coat and picked up her weekend case. “I looked in on Leah while I was upstairs. She’s fallen asleep reading, so I turned off the light and her tablet.”

  Holly nodded as she drew her arms protectively around herself. “I’ll pop in and kiss her goodnight before I go to bed. Thank you for a lovely weekend. I really enjoyed it.” She leant forward and kissed Ellie chastely on the cheek, turned her back on Ellie, and made her way upstairs.

  Ellie closed the door quietly behind herself as she left.

  20

  When Ellie returned home, she made herself a camomile tea. The lounge was now awash with a soothing glow from the lamp. She put the tea down on the coffee table and slumped into her chair. During her return journey, she questioned whether she’d done the right thing. She could tell by Holly’s faraway look, and the coolness of her demeanour afterwards, that she’d expected Ellie to kiss her. Why hadn’t she? What was holding her back? They were both unattached, and Ellie was convinced they both felt the same way about each other, so why the hesitation. Despite all the positives between them, something was subconsciously holding Ellie back. Added to whatever it was would now be the pressure of the new job and being away from home.

  She took a long drink of her camomile tea, inhaling the earthy aroma, before placing it on the table and leaning back into her chair. She stared at the ceiling until the slight blurring and pricking of her eyes indicated signs of tiredness. She closed her eyes and scrubbed at them with her knuckles. Physically, she felt okay, but emotionally, she was shredded. Had Phil deliberately changed his mind just to get ahead in the ‘Leah stakes’ or was he genuinely convinced his daughter would be all right with the status quo. Ellie certainly had had no contact with anyone from the police and wondered how strange it was, given she was as far as she knew, the only eyewitness. She didn’t want to think Phil was orchestrating the entire thing but certainly couldn’t dismiss the idea.

  As much as she wanted to, she just couldn’t bring herself to like the man. His open hostility from the first hadn’t helped, but Ellie had simply thought it was his way of protecting his daughter. Even Ellie’s continuing contact with Leah and Holly hadn’t assuaged whatever was eating at him. No doubt, it would surface in the end. However that occurred, she didn’t want any fallout affecting Leah. Dragging a child into adult problems never worked for any parties concerned. Explaining what was going on was so much easier. Ellie wanted his talk with Holly about the holiday to go well tomorrow, although she feared he might come up with some objection Ellie couldn’t overcome. She just hoped Leah didn’t get a whiff of the surprise before he’d given an absolute yes to their plans. If anything untoward happened, she’d be heartbroken.

  She took her mug through to the kitchen before calling it a night. She stared out of the kitchen window in the hope of seeing the now familiar fluttering of small wings. There was none forthcoming, so Ellie rinsed the mug and turned out the light.

  As she made her way to the bedroom, she could feel her heart sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss. Loneliness always felt worse after having had company for a while. The laughing and joking, breathing in someone else’s air for a while, drinking in their thoughts and sharing life’s little pleasures, then returning to the silence—silence that, in time, ate away at your sanity even for someone who enjoyed her own company. As the panic began to rise, she sank onto the bed and adjusted her breathing. The panic attack didn’t kill her last time, and it wouldn’t now.

  Thoughts churned in her head as the panic began to subside. Was it coincidence Phil was always there to end the fun so their time together always ended like a damp squib? It must be… surely.

  Ellie picked up Holly and Leah at half past five to give Ellie time to bulldoze her way through the teatime traffic. Although her parent’s home was in decent ambling distance for her, it would have been quite a hike for Holly
and Leah to walk there, living as they did in the furthest district of town. After their avenue of houses came the countryside. Ellie had devised a plan, hence the offer of using her car. Since it was a weekday, she knew she would have to take Holly and Leah home at a reasonable hour because Leah would have to go to bed, it being a school night. It would be a reasonable excuse for her to leave early. It’s not that she didn’t enjoy her parents’ company, because she did. However, Ellie didn’t relish the thought of deep, meaningful discussions about her decision to turn down Michael Devlin’s offer or the details of the upcoming job.

  Leah was pensive as she sat in the back of the car with a worried look on her face. Ellie shared a smile with a relaxed looking Holly before asking Leah, “Is something wrong Leah? You’re very quiet.”

  “I’m fine, thank you,” she replied in a very unconvincing voice.

  Ellie looked at Holly with furrowed brows, searching for an answer. Holly gave a thin smile. “She’s just a little nervous around strangers, to begin with. Then there’s no stopping her.”

  Ellie smiled. Leah would feel differently once her dad turned on the charm. He wouldn’t remain a stranger long. When she was in school, her friends had loved to visit the house because her dad was there. They would go for walks over the weekend, especially if her mum was working, or if they were lucky, he would take them in the car for a picnic in the countryside. It seemed to take forever to get there, but Ellie knew she could do the same journey today, and it would only take half an hour. She smiled at the memories. He was a good man. He’d always been a good man.

  The three of them clambered from the car and made their way up the long path to the front door. Ellie and Holly had chosen to wear casual denim jeans and jumpers. Leah was dressed in a pretty pink embroidered blouse and smart, dark blue trousers, which emphasised her long legs. Over the blouse, she wore a dark blue longline cardigan, an almost perfect colour match to the trousers. She didn’t know who had chosen the outfit. What Ellie did know was that it made Leah look a good deal older than her twelve years, as her long blonde locks cascaded over her shoulders, neatly clipped back at the sides above her ears. Her ice blue eyes showed wariness, something Ellie hadn’t seen since the day of the bullying incident.